


Liar liar crack

by kiminokokoro



Category: Liar Liar (Visual Novels) & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 07:21:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25346881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiminokokoro/pseuds/kiminokokoro
Summary: Chapter 1- Crack of liar liar 1Chapter 2- Crack of Liar liar game 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Liar liar 1 crack

“Hi! I’m Yukari Minamida and I’m going to kill my boyfriend! Will you help me?” yelled the pigtailed girl. All the while a funky and inappropriately cheerful 8bit theme played. Mrr mrr mrr, mrr-mrr-mrr mrr mrr-mrr-mrr mrr-mrr-mrr-mrr-mrr-mrr! Mrr mrr mrr, mrr-mrr-mrr mrr mrr-mrr-mrr

“Umm...Sis...who are you talking to...?” said Minami flatly, sitting next to Yukari at breakfast at their table.

“What do you mean? The player of course!” said Yukari.

“The player? We’re not in a game,” said Minami eating some cereal.

“Of course we are, we are in a game and we are fictional characters talking through text boxes and being shown to the player through sprites,” said Yukari eating some waffles.

“But if we aren’t real then...WHAAAAAAAAAT!!!!” yelled Minami in OOC shock, spitting out her cereal. “I AM HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS!!!”

“AAAAAAAH!!! WE AREN’t REAL!” yelled Yukari tossing her waffles out the window and intensely scratching her arms. “AAAAAAH! OOAHAAAAAAGH!!”

“AHAAAAAAGH!! OOOOOOOAOAAAAAAGHH!!” screamed Minami running around flailing her arms. “NOOOOOO! NNAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUU-”

\--- TAKE 2 ---- (Take 1 didn’t happen)

“La di da di da, I’m going to commit a murder!” sang Yukari as she skipped off to school. “Oh joy! Oh wonder!”

“Oh hi Yukari what are you doing here so early?” said a mysterious boy in a baseball uniform (it was Tanaka).

 _Oh shit_ thought Yukari in her mind. “Oh nothing, just ummmm....” she struggled to make up an excuse. “I need to pick up something I left at school the other day...”

“What? That doesn’t even make any sense you pigtailed moron,” said Tanaka making his smirky face.

“What did you just call me you stupid unnatural hair colored shorty?!” yelled Yukari in rage.

“I meant what I said you heart eyebrows, bad at lying murderer!”

“Oh yeah you sanctimonious little snake?! Let’s see how you like this!!” Yukari took out her knife and stabbed Tanaka.

“What! OUCH!” he yelled in shock. Then Yukari swung at him again, but thanks to some athletic reflexes, he dodged it. “What are you doing?! Why are you trying to kill me?!”

“You were harassing me with insults! You’ve wronged me so you must die!” she said swinging again.

“Umm....” said a voice from behind coughing. Yukari and Tanaka both turned to see some random teacher. “Hello is this police...we have a situation-” she never finished the sentence before Yukari stabbed her too.

“YUKARI!!!!” yelled Tanaka.

“What?” she said turning to him covered in blood.

“You can’t just kill people, it’s wrong! That teacher was completely innocent!”

“It couldn’t be helped! She was a witness! Now...die!” Yukari aimed the knife for Tanaka’s neck but he sidestepped it with MLG pro reflexes.

“Wh-What...” said Yukari. “How did you-”

“Omae wa mou, shindeiru.” said Tanaka stealing Yukari’s knife.

“NANI?!” yelled Yukari before getting stabbed by Tanaka.

\--- TAKE 3 ---- (Take 2 didn’t happen)

“La di da di da, just committed a murder!” said Yukari dragging Tanaka’s body into the bathroom. “La di da di-”

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!” yelled a mysterious orange-haired girl with one of those small head ponytails (It was Miho).

“HEEEEYAAAAAAAAAHH!” yelled Yukari in surprise. “Oh it’s just you Miho...”

“Oh my gawd! A dead body! In a stall! You’re covered in blood aaaahhh!!!”

“Drop the act Miho...”

“Oh I’m not acting,” said Miho taking out her phone, “I’m getting the police, you’re busted lol!” she yelled running swiftly out of the bathroom.

“...Wait...wh...what?” Yukari stuttered in surprise. “HEY! GET BACK HER- MMPPPH!” she ran after Miho but before she could, Tanaka attacked her by sticking a plunger to her face. “MMMPH!!!” (YOU’RE STILL ALIVE?!?!) 

“It ends here Yukari, no more killing people for you!” said Tanaka valiantly as Yukari stumbled around blindly.

The police then came and arrested Yukari giving her the death sentence.

“You realize you just killed her technically right?” said Miho to Tanaka who was still covered in blood as the police sirens flashed. “I thought you said killing people is always wrong.”

“Yeah only if other people do it,” said Tanaka shrugging. “When I do it it’s justified.”

“......” 

\--- TAKE 4 ---- (none of the other takes happened)

“Soo...I can help you but you have to kill someone for me, whaddya say pardner?” said Miho raising an eyebrow at Yukari.

“Why are you calling me pardner?” asked Yukari raising her heart eyebrow.

“Whaddya say pardner? Eh?” said Miho nudging Yukari with her elbow.

“Fine I accept, but only cause on my first playthrough I said no and it made Tanaka kill me,” said Yukari annoyedly. “I KNOW YOU’RE ALIVE IN THERE TANAKA!” Yukari yelled back at the abandoned stall.

“Wait if you know he’s alive, why not just kill him?” asked Miho as Tanaka sweated in the stall.

“Oh yeah.” Yukari opened the stall door and swiftly stabbed Tanaka a few more times fatally. “Ok now that he’s dead, I don’t need you anymore Miho.”

“....wait...wh- AAAAAUGH!!” yelled Miho getting stabbed by Yukari.

10 minutes later...

“Ugh it smells horrible in here! Like blood and murder!

Someone walked into the female restroom and Yukari’s eyes glinted eagerly before she pounced on them with her knife!

“HIIIAAAAAAAA!!!” she yelled her battle cry.

“EEEYAAAAAHHHH!!!” yelled a mysterious blue-haired girl with heart eyebrows and not Yukari (it was Minami). “BIG SIS?!”

“What?! You aren’t my boyfriend!”

“Why would your boyfriend be going to the female restroom?! Wait...boyfriend...you were going to kill my boyfriend?!” she screamed.

“Oh yeah. I guess I have to kill you now that you know...” said Yukari awkwardly. “Wait but you’re my sister so I can’t kill you...”

\---- TAKE 5 ---- (other takes were killed by Yukari)

“La di da di da about to commit another murder!” sang Yukari skipping down the hall. “Oh there you are Wakabayashi!” she said sighting the mysterious white haired stuck-up looking boy (it was Wakabayashi).

“Why hello there Yukari!” he said, and suddenly his weird theme began to play. LOO LOO LOO, LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO, LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO!

“What the hell is making that weird noise in the background!” screamed Yukari looking around at the empty hallway.

LOO LOO LOO, LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO, LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO!

“Could you mean, that beautiful melody in the background?” said Wakabayashi theatrically. “Ah yes! It’s music to your ears, isn’t it?”

LOO LOO LOO, LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO, LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO!

“What?! No! Turn that thing off!” said Yukari looking around frantically for the source of the music. “Oh god! Make it stop!”

LOO LOO LOO, LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO, LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO!

\--- TAKE 6 ---

“Wakabayashi stop lying, I know you are stalking Miho,” said Yukari glaring.

“Come to think of it Yukari, come help me practice my lines for my play!” said Wakabayashi randomly.

“No,” said Yukari.

“Why not?”

“What?! Cause that has nothing to do with you stalking Miho!”

“Well too bad, you’re coming in here because the plot says so,” said Wakabayashi ushering Yukari into the theater room. “Now...who told you?”

“Wait why do you even care? Are you gonna kill them?”

“Why yes, and I am also going to kill you!” yelled Wakabayashi brandishing a box cutter he just found right now, sitting on a random box.

“Try me creep!” yelled Yukari brandishing her knife. They started dueling with their blades going ching! Ching!

“Uuurghh...” said Wakabayashi, his cutter shaking as it was pressed back by Yukari’s knife. “Give it up already, you can’t win this battle!”

“Actually I think I have a much better chance of winning with this sharp knife than you do with that cardboard-cutting tool!”

“No I mean..you can’t win cause this is the bad end!” Wakabayashi gave a creepy slasher smile. “This is gonna keep going until you lose and I kill you!”

“Never!” yelled Yukari.

20 minutes later...

“Umm...Yukari?” said Miho knocking on the door to the club room.

“Silence beautiful Miho! We are in the midst of a great duel!” yelled Wakabayashi.

“Yeah, and I’m gonna win it!” yelled Yukari.

“UMMMM....” Miho tried to open the club room door. As soon as she did, Yukari was stabbed in the throat by Wakabayashi and he walked out covered in her blood.

“Oh thank the heavens you did that Miho, now the bad end can finally proceed-” he got stabbed by Miho, using the fallen Yukari’s knife which she ran and picked up.

“Ha! I win. Piece of shit!” she yelled turning around. She saw Tanaka covered in blood. “Wh-”

“I’m calling the police!” said Tanaka yelling and running away.

\--- TAKE 6 ----

“Okay, so I’ve killed Tanaka and Wakabayashi, and all is left is my ex boyfriend!” said Yukari giddily.

“Yeah sure. I’m gonna go take a dump,” said Miho going into one of the stalls. “I’ve been holding it ever since I first walked in here.”

“Oh ok...TMI...” muttered Yukari. Her ex boyfriend then walked in.

“Wait...why am I in the female bathroom..” he muttered turning around.

“Hey (name)!” yelled Yukari.

“What! Yukari?! You’re covered in blood?!”

“Time to die foo-” Yukari was cut off by the sound of something collapsing behind her. She turned and saw Tanaka dead on the ground and a box cutter that had clattered on the ground. He just died of blood loss before he could stab her. “Wow good thing that he didn’t manage to get me....”

“AAAAAAAAH!!” yelled the boyfriend.

“Time to die fool!” yelled Yukari raising the knife.

“Wait guys! I’m all out of toilet paper!” yelled Miho who was sadly unheard among all the screaming and stabbing. “Hello?! Guys?!”


	2. Liar liar 2 crack

“Hey can you stalk this glasses girl who goes to this school?” said Tanaka to Tohru.

“What? No! I’m not gonna STALK some random person just cause you asked me to!” yelled Tohru turning away annoyedly. 

“Okay...how about just FOLLOWING them?” said Tanaka changing his phrasing slightly.

“But that’s the same thing!!!! Also, do I know you?” said Tohru unintentionally roasting Tanaka.

“Fine whatever, I guess I’ll just ask someone else,” said Tanaka walking off and turning to a random person in the hallway. “Hey can you stalk this glasses girl who goes to this school?”

“Umm....” said Miho.

\--- TAKE 2 ----

“Ok kids we have a new student today! His name is Koshi Tanaka!” said the teacher welcoming Tanaka in.

Tanaka started talking. “Nice to mee-” 

“WHAAAAAAAAAT?!” yelled Yukari leaping up and slamming her sleeves on her desk. “I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!”

“Whoa chill out Yukari...” said Tanaka looking around the room of students. “I was just in the hospital not actually dead...”

“But I killed you! How can you be alive?!” Yukari yelled with disbelief and wide eyes.

“Ummm...Yukari are you really admitting you murdered me in a classroom full of people?”

“Guys stop disrupting the class!” yelled the teacher as all the students completely ignored their detailed conversation about Tanaka coming back from the dead.

\--- TAKE 3 ---

“!!!” Yukari was in shock as Miho stabbed Minami to death. “Miho...why?!”

“I didn’t have a choice Yukari. She was going to kill y-”

“SHE WAS MY SISTER!!” yelled Yukari killing Miho.

Miho died.

“Now to kill all the witnesses...” said Yukari turning to Akira, Tanaka, and Tohru.

“Are you really going to kill all 3 of us Yukari?” said Tanaka turning to Akira. “I mean Akira has beaten you in a 1v1 fight before, right Akir-” Tanaka saw that Akira was dead. 

“Ok...” he said. “Well you may have gotten Akira, but Tohru knocked out Miho and me and then killed me in one ending, surely he can fight you-” Tanaka saw that Tohru was also dead. Then Yukari stabbed Tanaka too. “HOW!!!” he yelled as he died.

\--- TAKE 4 ---

After Akira had slashed Yukari’s throat, Tanaka quickly grabbed her hand and ran away with her, locking them inside the bathroom.

“Are you kidding me! You had to lock us in the bathroom of all places?!” yelled Yukari annoyedly. (somehow even though her throat was slashed)

“What else can we do?! We can’t outrun him and especially not while we’re both injured!” yelled Tanaka back.

“Well what are we supposed to do! You’ve doomed us both! What kind of weapons can we find in a school bathroom?!” Yukari yelled as Akira called from behind the door, “I know you two are in there!!!!!”

“Don’t worry I have a plan,” said Tanaka grabbing the plunger. 

Akira came into the room, swinging his keyring around on his finger. “Perks of being on the student councAAAAAAAAARGGHGHGHGHGHGHHH!!!!” he yelled as Tanaka jumped up and plungered his face.

“Now Yukari! Let’s run!” Tanaka said running away. 

Yukari face flopped on the ground, dead from the slit to her throat.

“Oh god dammit,” said Tanaka still running away.

\--- TAKE 5 ---

“Oh my god Koshi! It’s been so long!” said Tohru squeezing the air out of Tanaka.

“Yeah uhh...” said Tanaka suffocating. “Listen Tohru, I actually want to ask you a favor-”

“What brings you over to my school Koshi?” said Tohru excitedly.

“WELL the thing is,” said Tanaka wiggling out of Tohru’s grasp. “I actually have a favor-”

“Wait! Don’t tell me!” yelled Tohru.

“Well-” started Tanaka.

“You’re transferring over here and came to surprise me?!” yelled Tohru questioningly.

“Hmm...not quite...I actually came here to-”

“To do what Koshi?!” yelled Tohru obnoxiously.

“I need to ask you a-”

“A question Koshi?! What question Koshi?! I’ll answer any question you ask me Koshi!” yelled Tohru shrilly.

“Well just calm down for a second, you see I need to ask you a-”

“I’ll do anything for you Koshi! Wow you’re as cute as ever Koshi!” yelled Tohru squishing Tanaka’s cheeks.

“Aha ha ha,” laughed Tanaka in badly faked amusement, “stop that, I need to ask you a favor-”

“Oh of course Koshi! A favor Koshi! Anything for you Koshi!”

“Well I want you to foll-”

“Say the word and I’ll do it Koshi! Just name it Koshi!”

“I want you to follow a-”

“Your Instagram account Koshi?! I didn’t know you cared about followers Koshi!”

“No, not that, I want you to follow a friend of mine-”

“-’s Instagram account?! Oh Koshi! Of course I’ll follow your friend Koshi! After all I’ll do anything for you Kosh-”

“Just be quiet!!!” yelled Tanaka loudly. Tohru stopped talking. “I need you to follow a friend of mine. You see, she-”

“SHE?!?!” yelled Tohru loudly. “Don’t tell me you have a crush on this girl Koshi? You do don’t you Koshi? I knew it!” he said knocking a fist on Tanaka’s head knocking him out. “Well because of that, now I’m going to have to kill you! What a mistake you made saying that Koshi!”

\---- TAKE 6 ----

“Here is our new student...Koshi Tanaka!” said the teacher.

HOLY SHIT Yukari thought. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?! 

“Hi guys nice to meet you, please take care of me,” said Tanaka sitting down next to Yukari. “Long time no see Yuk-”

“Adios Tanaka you devil lizard!” said Yukari running off.

“Wait Yukari!” said Tanaka.

“Minamida where are you going?! Class just started!” said the teacher.

Later

“Finally I found you Yukari! You’ve been avoiding me all day!” said Tanaka catching up to Yukari in the hall.

Oh shit he found me, thought Yukari.

“Do you know why I’m here Yukari, I came here to stop you from committing any more murders.”

“Oh is that so? Well then, I killed you before and I can do it again!” said Yukari stabbing Tanaka.

“You know I’ll just come right back like I did last time!” said Tanaka coughing blood.

“Not if I stab you fatally in your vital organs!” said Yukari stabbing Tanaka’s heart and slitting his throat. He dropped to the ground. “Finally, he’s dead for goo-”

“You can’t kill me that easily Yukari!” said Tanaka getting up from the puddle of blood.

“Oh god dammit, why won’t you die!” yelled Yukari stabbing Tanaka in the mouth. “And how can you still talk!”

“You’ll never kill me Yukari...it’s impossible! Muahahahahaha!” laughed Tanaka taking the knife out of his mouth and throwing it through a window, shattering the glass.

\--- TAKE 7 ---

“But how are you going to stop me Tanaka?” asked Yukari quizzically.

“Well, I’ve got no choice but to follow your exact whereabouts day and night!” declared Tanaka.

“Um...you were in the hospital for 3-4 months and after all that your great, marvelous plan is just to follow me everywhere?” questioned Yukari raising an eyebrow. “Don’t you have anything better to do Tanaka? What if I just kill someone while you’re sleeping?”

“Of course I took that into account Yukari. That’s why I have this!” Tanaka took out a remote and pressed a button to call up a remote controlled drone. “It’s equipped with a camera. I’ll be able to monitor you wherever you go, no matter how far away I a-” Yukari grabbed the drone and threw it against the wall, breaking it. “Yukari!!! That cost almost as much as my hospital bills!”

“Sorry Tanaka,” Yukari said grinning unapologetically. “You should know better than to tell me your plans right in front of me next time.”

“Yukari why are we saying each other’s names in almost every sentence?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty weird isn’t it Tanaka...but it’s kind of fun too!”

\--- TAKE 8 ---

“So Tanaka...tell me what you know about the bodies...” said Miho holding a knife to Tohru’s throat in the middle of the hallway.

“Oh geez, what are they doing over there?” said a random student exiting a nearby classroom. “I just came out from the speech club and the first thing I see is some guy being threatened...”

“Oh don’t worry, they must be filming some kind of short film,” said another random student. 

“I don’t see any camera though...” said the first student staring at the exchange.

“It was Minami...she hid the bodies,” said Tanaka.

“Minami? Oh that makes sense...I guess we have to kill her then! Come along Tanaka!” said Miho.

“Wait, what do you mean we?!” said Tanaka.

“Did you really think I was just going to let you roam free once you gave me that info? And plus, if you help me murder her, then you won’t be able to report me and Yukari without implicating yourself!” said Miho grinning with glee.

“Um guys, since this doesn’t involve me can I leave now?” said Tohru quietly, still being grabbed around the neck by Miho.

“Hell no! You know about the murders, I can’t just let you free! You’re coming along too!” yelled Miho.

A while later...at Koroshi Hito Middle School....

“Hey you!” said Miho to some random student. “Do you happen to know where Minami would have went?!”

“Umm....WHO??” asked the random student. “You can’t just say random people’s names and expect me to know who they are...”

“Minami Minamida! Blue hair, it’s short, heart eyebrows?”

“Sorry I don’t know who you’re talking about...” said the student walking away.

“I guess we will just have to try talking to other students then...” said Tanaka shrugging as he sighed. “This isn’t going to be easy. Who knows how many students we’ll have to ask before we find someone who knows Minami-”

“Hey do you know where Minami Minamida went!” yelled Miho to some random student.

“Oh you mean that third year with the eyebrows? Yeah she was mumbling something about going to see her sister...” 

OH SHIT!! thought Miho and Tanaka making faces of panic while Tohru looked at them confused. “Why are you guys suddenly all sweaty?” he asked confusedly.

“By the way why are you holding that guy by the neck and pointing a knife at his throat?” asked the student staring at Miho and Tohru.

“Oh don’t worry about it, he’s umm...into some freaky shit” said Miho dragging Tohru along as they went back to Yukari and Tanaka’s high school.

“Wtf...” said the student watching them leave.

A while later....

“Minami!” yelled Yukari, barrelling into the classroom where Akira was holding Minami.

“Sis...help me...” said Minami.

“Yukari! Wait!” yelled Miho barrelling in with Tohru and Tanaka.

“Miho?! Tanaka?! What are you doing here?!” yelled Yukari. “And who’s that guy!”

“Yukari, it’s a trap! Minami took the bodies, she’s trying to lure you close to kill you!” yelled Miho desperately.

“What...that’s impossible! Minami wouldn’t do that!” yelled Yukari gripping her knife harder.

“Let go of me already!!!” yelled Tohru trying to struggle out of Miho’s grasp.

“Yukari, you need to listen to Miho! It’s a trap!” yelled Tanaka completely ignoring Tohru.

“Um guys?!?!” yelled Tohru. “I don’t really know what’s going on, but MAY I BE EXCUSED!!?”

“Sis...please...help me!!” yelled Minami.

“Minami!!” yelled Yukari. Her only choice was to save Minami!! Yukari dove toward Minami, but then Miho pushed Yukari out of the way, as Minami’s knife swing was incoming.

“See Yukari! She was trying to attack you!” yelled Miho.

“Minami...no...you...?” said Yukari in shock.

“Jig’s up I guess...that’s right sis, I tricked you! And now...I’m gonna kill you!” Minami said smiling evilly.

“Like hell you will!” said Miho swinging her knife at Minami. They got into a blade duel! Ching! Ching!

“Yukari! Kill her now!” yelled Miho, pressing down on Minami’s blade with hers, locking the two knives in place. “You’re the only one who can turn the tables here!”

“I...” said Yukari staring at her sister and girlfriend. “I’m sorry...I...I can’t abandon my sister!!!” She dove forward and killed Miho.

“CAN I GO HOME YET?!?!” wailed Tohru.


End file.
